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Review: Liquormen’s Ol’ Dirty Canadian Whisky

Whiskey Review - Liqourmen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky

At least they didn't lie - this is about as dirty as it gets.

It’s no secret that Tim’s a big Trailer Park Boys fan. If you don’t know what that is, shame on you. The Trailer Park Boys forged a path for funny, independent, and uniquely Canadian stories that didn’t shove OMG look how Canadian we are in your face every thirty seconds (hear that, CBC?). In a way, it paved the road for shows like Corner Gas and Letterkenny. We have no proof of that, but we’d like to think so. Ricky, Bubbles, and Julian know how to make us laugh, but what do they know about making Whiskey? We’re about to find out.

Remember, in the official mediocre scale, the rating is out of 10. We try to rate every alcohol based on what it’s claiming to be. In this case, we base this off our experiences with Canadian Whisky. Boy, did this one miss the mark with us….

Mike

On the nose, it smells like…alcohol. The finish and the aftertaste are like a demon from hell. Opening…not terrible. 4 Mediocres

Josh

You know how Vodka just smells like rubbing alcohol? This is like that. It’s…now I will give it this, it’s layered. It’s got a lot going on, but not all of it’s good. It’s better than I thought it was going to be. It tastes like a mediocre Whisky. 4 Mediocres

Tim

Huh. There it is. I’m almost getting a sort of a banana-ish at the front – a bit of banana and caramel…then it turns to demonshit. If this wasn’t Trailer Park Boys whisky, I wouldn’t have bought it. I guess they have my money now. 4 Mediocres

This is our lowest rated Canadian Whiskey ever. At an average of 4 Mediocres, we have to advise you to hold on to your money. Dartmouth, NS, we appreciate the effort, but you really need to do better. At least the title was honest.

There’s a Disney Reference For Everything

I Win, and My Brother Loses

I grew up, like many people of my generation, watching Disney films, and there was a common game I would play with my siblings where one of us would quote one of the films – minimum of five words – and the rest of us would need to guess which film the quote came from (my older brother was the troll who required the extension to five words, and even then, his choice of “I think I’ll name him…” wasn’t even a complete sentence, so I still claim victory on that round, you cheater).

But Disney seems to have become something of a new Shakespeare, with “cultural references” being used to get otherwise complex ideas across. Instead of quoting Hamlet at length to express a sarcastic sentiment toward an idea, one can reference Edna Mode watching it burn:

It doesn’t stop there. Disney has almost a century of work produced, with possible references, in or out of context, for almost every conceivable human interaction.  Here follows some examples:

It’s too early in the morning.

It’s too early in the morning.

It’s too early in the morning.

It’s too early in the morning.

It’s too early in the morning.

 

It’s too early in the morning.

It’s too early in the morning.

It’s too early in the morning.

How’s your machine?  Lagged out yet?

But seriously, a lot of those are flexible enough that they could be used to reflect all kinds of things: boredom, despair, rage, disapproval, you name it. And for every sarcastic or negative thing you could use, there’s a reference you could make to express any emotion or concept.

Short version: I’m a Disney fan.  Always have been.  Hopefully you all got the references.

Eating Disorders Are All Serious

In which Mike opines on the current state of one particular mental illness in North America.

Quit Saying I’m Well Trained.

In which Tim writes about the continued disparity between the genders perpetuated by general assholery.

Did You Miss Me?

Mike returns after a short absence and, as penance, converts his unexplained absence into an explained one.

The Importance of the Classics

A short musing on the value of classic film, in which Mike is far less uncouth than normal.

Nerding Out With Synesthesia

Mike talks about synesthesia and the tastiness of prime numbers.

A Tale of Two G7s

Tim is proud to be Canadian, and wishes we would protest more.

Thoughts From Inside a Locker With a Huge Wedgie

Mike talks about bullying and racism, and makes no mention of “swirlies” at all.

He’s Smarter Than You Think He Is

Mike writes about Kim Jong Un and his nuclear game of chicken with Donald Trump.